Have you ever been so busy that you don't have a spare second to do anything but trudge forward, tackling one deadline at a time, moving from putting out one fire to the next? That's how December was for me, and I am just now finally coming out of it. And looking back at it now I realize that I had a kind of tunnel vision for the whole month, and my senses shut out everything non-essential. I know that this is a fundamental side effect of stress and anxiety, that the brain filters out and sets aside everything except essential information. But I have never consciously been aware of the phenomenon in myself before, and I only just realized how complete it had been yesterday as I was hanging out in the bathroom with Emmett as he was playing in the tub. I finally felt like my eyes were open again to seeing, I mean really seeing, and also appreciating the world around me, and the beauty in small things. And everything in my sight sorted itself into little snapshots of things that I never would have even seen a month ago, let alone seen their texture and their beauty.
I suppose this type of tunnel vision is a pretty neat survival instinct, but I must say that it is nice to be out of the tunnel.
No comments:
Post a Comment